Kenny Tran to Learn & to Share

A few days ago, someone did a search about “how to become happy” on the Internet and he ended up at my blog here. Although I wrote many posts on self-development topic, I’ve never actually written anything on “how to be happy”. That’s why you’re reading this post. However, before your read, please understand that I’m no happiness-expert, and I’m just sharing what works for me. I share because I think it may work for you too.

There is a simple truth that everyone knows: We all want to be happy. For us, happiness is a goal in life. However, there is something not many of us know about: Happiness isn’t a goal at all, and you will never be able to reach it, get it, or grasp it because it doesn’t even exist outside you. You may be a bit confused here, but let’s face the fact that happiness isn’t something for you to reach, to get or to grasp because it’s your feeling. Is it good news? Yes, it truly is because your feeling is something really yours, so you can always have a choice of being happy or not.

You may find it hard to believe. You may tell me you only feel happy when you get a job, buy a new car, have your own home, start your own family, etc. Yes, you’re absolute right, and I never deny the fact that all the good events which happen to us bring us some instant happiness. But why do I call it “instant happiness”? Ask yourself this question: “How long did those happy feelings last?” Now, answer that question honestly to yourself…

 I believe you’ve just realized a disheartening fact that they never last long. Yes, again, you’re right, they never do.

 I’m sorry but I have to tell you an even more disheartening fact that we spend most of our life chasing those instant moments of happiness in stress, worry, disappointment, frustration, depression, or even hatred. Even worse, no matter how much effort you put in chasing them, there is no guarantee that you will get those moments.  What if something you truly believe will bring you the ultimate happiness would never happen to you? Just think about it…

Therefore, the only way to become truly happy is to create it. Yes, happiness is not in the car you drive, the house you stay, the job you have, etc. It’s in your heart. You create it simply by being grateful to what you have and accept yourself as you are. It’s also my secret (or not so a secret) of happiness.

Do you realize that if today you have 3 full meals to fill your stomach, and later at night, you have a good sleep on your bed, you’re happier than 3 billion people on this world? Do you realize like that tomorrow when you wake up on your bed, you’re much happier than millions of people who will never be able to wake up again?

Life and happiness is just simple as that. You may think I’m bluffing you or writing non-sense here because I might never feel unhappy enough, or life might be too easy for me.  Maybe you’re right because what happened to me in the past only made me consider ending my life once or consider totally giving up a few times, but I didn’t. For that, I’m still happier than so many people who encountered some bad events in their life and decided to give up.

And right now, when I’m writing this, I have so many reasons to be very unhappy, even depressed and frustrated. Six months ago, I came to know about a job which I know for sure I’ll shine with it because it’s what I can do best. I gave it all my hope. Since then, I’ve been waiting for it for 6 months, and there hasn’t been any sign of good news yet. Recently, I even decided to take up a temp job in that company which pays only 1/4 of my current salary just to give myself some visibility there. You can see how determined I’m, don’t you? Unfortunately, I recently came to know one of my friends also applied for the job. Worse for me, it looks like she has a much better chance than me based on the fact that I must wait 6 months for 2 rounds of interview while she got 2 rounds in just about a week. I’ve put so much hope and passion to make a difference in that job, and now, what is happening really breaks my heart.

As you can see, although I have all the “good” reasons to be upset, I choose not to. I choose to continue being happy because to me, after all, it’s just another test of faith. Everything happens for a reason. If I wouldn’t get that job to do what I always dream to, it might be because I was meant for something better somewhere else. I’ve done all what I could, and I’ve done my best. I have no regret. No matter win or lose, I will soon finish that long battle in dignity. That’s why I’m happy now.

I believe this post and the above “example” gave you some ideas on how to become really happy in life. Again, this may not work to everyone because we, human beings, are so different and diversified in nature to share the same formula of happiness. However, if you do believe it will work for you, you may want to read my next post - How To Be Truly Happy - where I’ll share with you about the traps you may encounter on your path to become truly happy by creating the happiness in your heart. Until then, please be grateful of what you have and who you are now, and be happy for no good reason.

*You may want to read these 2 posts as well: We Always Have A Choice and There Is A Hero

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